Warning: Graphic Content Ahead

I came home from my cruise to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico on March 26th. On the drive home I suddenly got a sore throat. I haven't been better since. That sore throat turned into strep throat. Well, Kind of. It was misdiagnosed as simply strep throat. I took a very basic antibiotic: amoxicillin for 9 days and I never felt any better. Then one night I got really sick and had to go to Urgent Care. When I got there the doctor said that I had something called peritonsillar cellulitis, which can be very serious. I had to get steroid shots in my hips and was put on way stronger medicine. The doctor said my mom had to sleep with me that night because there was a chance that because my throat was so swollen, my airway could close completely.

I got better, but just like Uncle Ryan said, I got sick again just a couple weeks later. I went back to the doctor and had to get more shots and more medicine. I have been to the doctor 6 times and received 5 shots since April 11th!!

I was referred to an ENT (ears, nose, throat specialist) to which he said that I needed my tonsils out. So yesterday that is what I did.

The night before surgery, I was looking on the Internet for food suggestions and instead found a ton of horror stories about how horrible the recovery is. I knew I shouldn't be reading them, but couldn't pull myself away either.

Yesterday, Mom took me to the hospital and I was hooked up to an IV and we think the nurse may have hit a nerve (or maybe I was subconsciously more nervous than I was consciously) because my whole right side tightened and I couldn't breathe well. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest and I was dizzy. My first panic attack. haha.

The surgery was pretty simple, all in all. Went in and woke up in recovery. I was told that right after the doctor you are fine because you still have anesthesia in your system, but later on in the night it hurts so bad. Luckily, my mom has been taking such good care of me that I am just fine.

Yes, I am sore and it hurts too swallow, but the pain is manageable. I know someone else who got their tonsils out on Friday and she is just so miserable. Hopefully it stays this way.

I just want to thank everyone for their well wishes, company and sorbet :)

Reasons to Smile:

1. Priesthood Blessings (Brandon gave me the sweetest blessing yesterday before my surgery. I cried.)
2. Haagan Daaz Raspberry Sorbet
3. Eclipse comes out in one week
4. Loritab
5. My Mom. I love her so much!

Southwest Baptist University Athletics - Bearcat basketball announces addition of D-I transfer Tre Smith

Southwest Baptist University Athletics - Bearcat basketball announces addition of D-I transfer Tre Smith

All Good Things Must Come To An End

Just when you think that you have things figured out, life throws you a curve ball. About three weeks ago Tre called me and told me that his head coach at the U wanted to talk to him. He went in for the meeting and coach told Tre that even though they had promised him a scholarship, things had changed and they no longer had one. He also told Tre that they had recruited 8 new players and the amount of time Tre would play was unknown.

Even though Tre has worked his butt off for the last three years, and every time they put him in the game he does the best, they still are taking him for granted. His coach told him "Sometimes you have to be selfish" and so he took their advice and left the Runnin' Utes.

A school in Missouri has been looking at Tre for quite some time and now they are getting their wish. He went on a recruiting trip on Thursday and signed the papers on Friday. He is officially a Southwest Baptist University Bearcat.

He leaves for a summer camp for the month of July and then he will be able to come back for three weeks and then he moves there at the end of August.

I have been dating Tre for the last 6.5 years and we spend a large majority of our time together and so it is going to be a very large adjustment for me to have him that far away.

When Tre first told me that he was considering transferring schools, I cried and cried for three days straight. I'm slowly coming to terms with it, but some days it is still really hard. I am going to miss him so much! When we are together we have so much fun; he dances, sings and teases. He is a kid and makes me one too.

When I tell people that Tre is moving, everyone says, "So what does that mean for your relationship?" Honestly, I don't know. So many things could happen in that amount of time. But what I do know is that if we are supposed to be together, the Lord will provide the way. That fact is what helps me through the tough days.

I just wanted Tre to know that I love him and that I know he is going to be great out there. The Utes are gonna be regretting this decision.

Dear Erin,

I have been making fun of Erin and Alison as they keep threatening to cry because this year is over, but in reality I have to in order not to cry myself. I have met six of the best people in the world; and change scares me. Because as hard as we may try, our friendships will never be the same as they were in the UPC office.

Rob Crosbie

Rob is amazing. He is hilarious and all-around fun to be with. He cares about UPC and it's future more than anyone else. He has been a great mentor to me this last year; helping me to develop my leadership and interpersonal skills. He has always been there for me and has just been a very true friend. I am glad he is sticking around another year; because I need him. Then he will be off to Med School to become a great doctor, but until then I will be savoring the moments.

Jeremy Wilkerson

JerBear was my first close friend within UPC and I appreciate him always putting up with my crap. Anytime I need someone to talk to, he is always the first person willing to listen to me whine (which is quite often haha). He is coming back for round two this upcoming year and I am lucky to have that support system with me as I am plunging into the unknown.

Erin Kucic

Easily the cutest girl around. She is genuine, honest and beautiful. It doesn't get much better than her. Throughout all the drama, fights, whatever- Erin has been able to remain friends with every single person. Never choosing sides or getting caught up. She makes me smile and I strive to be more like her in every way. She is going to Thailand to work at a non-profit organization (so like her) and then off to D.C. after that. I wish her the best of luck and know she will be great in any aspect of her future. She just better come back to visit.

Michelle Doong


She is such a fun spirit to be around; always making us laugh (whether its with her or at her :) )

She loves unconditionally and is such a great friend; always there when you need a "catch-up sesh". She, too, is going big places and will excel in any situation. She is an all around people person and makes every situation a better one.

Ashley Swapp

Ashley is my sister-soul; we are practically the same person. Which either causes us to fight or get along great. Through it all, I love her. She has been there for me through some really hard times and I could never express my gratitude enough. She is so driven and motivated and has huge dreams. After graduation, she is moving all the way to Japan! What a brave girl; i wish i was more like her in that aspect.

Alison Tuft

Alison-Sweet-Alison, I love her oh so much. She and I have somehow gotten ridiculously close over the past few months; and my life is forever changed because of her. She has had the greatest impact on my life. When I am around her, she makes me want to be a better person-to strive to be more Christ-Like. She is one of the nicest, yet, level-headed girls I know. A lot of the time, I envy her- she is just "cool"- knows who she is and what she is about and I value that greatly in a friend. She is so gorgeous, and doesn't even realize it-which makes me appreciate the fact even more. We have had the best of times together and I will do whatever it takes to continue that friendship, even though she is graduating. Alison, I could never thank you enough for your loyalty, compassion and amazing friendship over these last few months. I love you.

I have learned so much about myself and about life in general, through these people. I will miss you all.

BreakEven

....by the Script is stuck in my head.



I am currently sitting in the Las Vegas airport waiting for my friend Cassie. I started travelling this morning at 9am and it is past 6 right now. Wow, all just for a one hour flight duration from SLC to LV. I actually got re-routed to Los Angeles-that's what took me so long to get here. We are coming to LV for the MWC Men's Basketball Tournament. I love Basketball!

Anyway, I just decided to come on Wednesday. Until that day, I was just much too busy to come (I have 4 Midterms next week!!). That was until last Wednesday: the BYU vs. Utah game. We were down by a lot and I knew Tre wasn't going to get a chance to play, because even though he is better than half of the players on his team, his coach never plays him because he is short. Being short is not a disadvantage for Tre, but rather, an advantage. He is so quick he can get right in there. But Tre got some courage and went up to the coach and said "Put me in, and I will play my hardest". Somehow-it worked and he got in for about 8 minutes. Even though we lost the game- I didn't care in all honesty, I was happy for Tre!!

Then on Saturday, Tre got even more playing time-approximately 14 minutes. He played so well and the sports announcers were going crazy about him for a full 5 minutes-everyone was so impressed. Because of his hard work, his coach called him into his office on Monday morning and told Tre how proud he was of him and to be ready to play in the tournament game (tonight!) and here I am.


I am just so relieved that he is finally getting a little bit of recognition for the dedication he has for that team. Now, all he needs is a scholarship, and he'll be set! :)

I just wanted to give a shout out to my Grandma K. Today is her Birthday! I am bummed I won't be there to celebrate- But i just want all 2.5 of you out there who read this blog- to know how much I LOOOVE her!




Reasons to Smile :)

1. That mom works for Jetblue (AKA the best airline in the WORLD- all other pale in comparison)
2. Utah Basketball & Tre getting playing time
3. All the cute sun dresses that I bought
4. Even though I am dreading having 4 midterms next week and a huge interview, I am glad to be getting it done before spring break-so I can totally relax.
5. That in one week I will be driving down to St. George to visit some family, before continuing the trip to San Diego to get on a cruise with my best friends to Cabo San Lucas.


..::Life Is Good::.

If we didn't need sleep...

Lately, life has been really weird. I thought when you entered high school you found out who your "true" friends were. After I hit college, I thought "Now, I know who my true friends are" and even still today, my third year of college, I am still surprised when I find myself thinking the same thing.

I used to think there was strength in numbers, but now I know that isn't true- all you need is a few REALLY good friends that you can count on for everything and you are set. As long as you realize who these friends are and cherish them.

I hate losing friends, but I feel as though it is an inevitable part of life. Maybe you were friends because you had something in common at a given time, but take that job, hobby, student group away and what do you really have in common?

Plus, I do not believe in rekindling a friendship. I mean, you can be civil toward one another and you can exchange small talk, but I think if you started out with a really close, strong friendship and something occurred to make that go away- there isn't much that can be done to rebuild that bridge. At least that is how it is in my experience. If you have had another experience with this, then consider me jealous.

I wish I could start this year over. But then that scares me, too. Have you ever seen the movie the Butterfly Effect? Where something bad happens to Ashton Kutcher's character and he goes back in time and does something to prevent that occurrence from happening, but then something (usually worse) happens and suddenly he is at the end and it probably would have just been better had he left it alone to begin with. Because if I was able to go back in time and try to fix the mistakes I have made this year, would I be as close to the people I am now?

The only thing that is ever consistent in my life is family. I was sitting in Sacrament today and thinking to myself that I must have been very obedient in the pre-mortal life in order to have these wonderful blessings, that I call family. I hope that didn't come across with a "holier than thou" attitude. Because that is just really a compliment toward my family. My brothers are my best friends. My parents are my best friends. My sister-in-laws are my best friends. My grandparents are my best friends. My aunts, uncles and cousins (well some) are my best friends. Who can honestly say that? I know not many people, but I can.

Lately, I keep thinking that I need a good cry. I spent 4 months planning an event and then it got shut down early by the police because stupid boys, with big egos, fought. Why does their foolishness ruin all the hard work that I put in? Then a fight with a friend, or lyrics to a song, or while I was sitting in church today and we sang "How great thou art" and we sang that at my grandma's funeral last month-all these things made me tear up, but not cry. I keep thinking that I need to get myself alone and cry, but honestly- I am too busy for that. Which should be another reason to add to the list of reasons I need to cry.

Because I am too busy, I never get to do the things I really want to do. At the beginning of every week, I make a to-do list and it is always filled to the max from sun up 'til I go to bed every night with activities, homework, meetings, classes, etc. I wish that going to sleep was optional-that our bodies didn't NEED it. Imagine how much more stuff we could get done. I wish I had time to go see my friend Jessica's baby. Every week I try to do so, but because there isn't a due date- it always gets pushed to the bottom of the list. But there kind of is a due date; that baby isn't going to be a baby forever. I wish I had more time to spend with my mom- I make time for her multiple times a week, but it still doesn't feel like enough. Then today, while I was at church I get a text from my grandpa saying "ET PHONE HOME". He then went on to tell me that we haven't talked forever and I need to call them. After he said that, that too, almost made me cry. Because I think about my grandparents often, but he is right- it has been much too long since seeing them. Which is just silly, because I love them and enjoy time with them very much.

I spend too much time wishing time away. "Oh, I can't wait until the weekend so I can get a break from classes", "Spring Break is 20 days away:) I wish time would hurry up", "Only 1 year left of school- I canNOT wait!". I wonder what I am missing out on, because I am thinking I can't wait til I am older. I am going to be an old woman wishing that I was young again. Which goes to prove that saying about everyone wanting what they can't have- is undeniably true.

So if I haven't talked to you in awhile, please know that I do think about you all the time. I love you and miss you very much. I worry that I give the impression that I don't care, when really I am just exhausted-mentally, physically and emotionally.

It's 11 o'clock. I am supposed to be doing Organic Chemistry II homework (now do you understand why I am TOO busy), but I got the sudden urge to update my blog. This pathetic blog. This post is unlike any other- I usually just update everyone on activities, never really any thoughts about life in between those activities. So I am hoping that this wasn't too all over the place, or that it didn't make you uncomfortable.

Maybe I will go have that cry, now :)

Reasons to Smile: ( I know, I am a thief)
1. The special-needs elderly man at church today who was dancing to the closing hymn of Sacrament.
2.My mom is making cinnamon rolls with pink frosting right now, extra frosting please.
3. She also just packed my lunch for tomorrow. Yeah, my friends have already told me-I am spoiled.
4. That my grandpa, although nearly 70 years old, knows how to text. I love feeling my phone vibrate, looking down and seeing it is him. It brings a smile to my face EVERY time. Plus, I brag to my friends how tech-savvy he is.
5. That my bed is soo comfortable. I am going to go curl up with a glass of milk and a cinnamon roll and watch documentaries about murder. Yeah, I know.

I have lived in 4 decades!

Now that classes are over, I am able to update my blog from it's previous Halloween state. There is so much to say, as this year and decade comes to an end.

So we will just begin where we had previously left off.

In the middle of September, the U hosts a homecoming dance (who knew?) So a group of friends and I decided to go check it out.

Joyce, Alison, Me and Rob. We went to Dinner at California Pizza Kitchen and then went to the dance-which was horrible! The DJ they hired was a joke, but at least we can say that we did it.

On the bright side, the refreshments were good.

My beautiful cousin, Erica won the prestigious title of Homecoming Queen. Yay!

For the Homecoming football game, a few friends and I decided to show our school spirit. It was a hit and got us on TV :)


We went to Logan to stay with Rob's family for a UPC director retreat. We stayed up late, I whooped everyone in speed scrabble and we had a great time (and took lots of pictures)!

The crew rebelling and throwing up our "U's" on the Aggie A.

Of Course, the typical jumping photo.

Tre was made captain of his basketball team at the U. He was voted captain by his teammates and his coaches. He is still not getting very much playing time, but it is nice for him to get recognized for all the hardwork he has put into that team.

October at Gardner Village is always crazy busy because of Witches' Night Out. This year, it was exceptionally crazy and so I didn't get very many pictures.

Me and Eboni

Kellie, Me and Colbs

Me and my two best friends, Teneil and Elysha

The second Crimson Nights of the year is always the Black Pumpkin Affair which is a HUGE halloween party.

A couple of days before the event, we set our customizable fangs so we would be all ready.

Me and E-balla

I love these girls. (ashley, alison, me and erin)

Me and My Associate Directors: Andrew, Josh, Heather, Erin and Alyx.

All of UPC and volunteers that made the event a success.

Brandon turned 28 on October 9th.

October 12th was Tre's big 2-1 birthday.

Mom got tickets for all of us to go see the Midnight Showing of New Moon.

On the 25th of November, Kristin turned 27

I can't believe that Christmas has already came and gone!Tyler, Brandon and I at the Sellers' Family Christmas Party
Me and Sisi.

Tristan playing with Tyler's "Pone".

Olivia and I at the McCune Christmas Party. She is my only cousin on this side that will hug me. (Unless you count Wyatt, who will let me, but only if I let him punch my leg off first).

Tre and I on our way to my work's christmas party.

Alison, Ashley and I after we exchanged gifts.

On Christmas Eve, Grandma came up with this game where we had to draw a bunchc of Christmas stuff-- but with our eyes closed. This is my version of a reindeer. Don't judge me, it is a lot harder than you would think.

My Grandpa might just be my very favorite person. We got him a gift certificate to See's Candy and this is him eating it. I don't know.... haha

Every year, instead of our Grandparents giving us presents, we get to grab into a jar full of coins. Before we started, Brent went and got us something to put our winnings in. Our ziploc bags are correlated with what Brent thought the outcome was going to be.

The pressure that Brent feels to draw the most, gets to him sometimes.

Total Grab: Approximately $29

OK, funny story. I grabbed once and somehow only got $22 ($5 of that was money my grandma kept slipping to me while we were counting because she felt bad for me.) So then Grandpa who was feeling very compassionate that evening (possibly because it WAS Christmas) and they let me put my first grab back and draw again. The second time around, I got a whopping $39.

Rob, Alison and I. My two favorite people to spend new years with.

Me, Alison and Jena-- after the snowball fight.

To celebrate New Year's my family and I went to see Avatar in 3D. And we were all very surprised with how great of a movie it was. I guess Dad does know what he is talking about.

and that is how we began the new year.

My New Year's Resolution is to be better at posting events as they occur.